Resources
![[A happy couple]](resources/couple-resources.png)
I'm picky about resources because there are so many fantasy-based or poorly researched, AI generated blogs. After years of exploring chastity
with my wife, these are the resources that have genuinely helped us, or that I wish had existed when we started. I particularly recommend materials that mirror
our own experience of using chastity to enhance, rather than replace, traditional relationship dynamics.
Both the wearer and the keyholder may want to read some Testimonials.
Web sites
- Cut To The Chaste - Cut to the Chaste was a very useful site, but it seems to have disappeared. The link here is to the Wayback Archive.
- Chastity Forums An internet forum that has a reasonable balance between reality and fantasy.
- themodernmarriageon Tumblr has bunch of useful information.
- Skin Care in a Chastity Device - The Healthy Bear
- The Safety of Chastity Devices - The Guy Shack
- Ejaculation Frequency and Prostate Cancer Risk - PubMed
- Harvard Health Men's Health - For evidence-based information about male sexual health, including research on ejaculation frequency and prostate health relevant to chastity practitioners.
Books
- Barrett, Key. Locked in Love. Independently Published, 2019. This was the first book that showed us chastity could be about love, not just kink. My wife read it after I did, and it sparked our first real conversation about what we both wanted from this practice. Barrett focuses on the relationship benefits rather than power dynamics.
- Blair, Jessica. Unlocking Desire. Independently Published, 2019. A woman's slant on entering a chastity relationship and how to get it started
- Chapman, Gary. The 5 Love Languages. Essential reading for any couple exploring chastity. Understanding how your partner receives love becomes crucial when you're redirecting sexual energy into other forms of connection and service.
- Perel, Esther. Mating in Captivity. Perel's insights into maintaining desire in long-term relationships provided the framework for understanding how chastity could reignite passion. Her focus on the tension between security and excitement resonated deeply with our experience.
Podcasts for the Road
- Savage Lovecast by Dan Savage - While sometimes explicit, Savage's sex-positive, practical advice often addresses alternative relationship practices with wisdom and humor. His emphasis on communication and consent aligns with healthy chastity practices.
What to Avoid
- Fantasy-focused websites and forums - Sites that emphasize extreme scenarios, permanent chastity, or non-consensual elements don't reflect healthy relationship practices.
- AI-generated content - Much of the chastity content online is now AI-generated and lacks real-world experience or accuracy.
- Commercial sites selling devices - While some have useful information, remember they're trying to sell you something. Their advice probably isn't objective.
- Resources that ignore the keyholder's perspective - Healthy chastity is about both partners. Avoid materials that focus solely on the male experience or treat the keyholder as merely a tool for control.
Professional Help
If you're struggling with communication, trust issues, or integrating chastity into your relationship, consider consulting with a sex-positive therapist. Look for professionals who are AASECT-certified or who specifically mention experience with alternative sexual practices. Many couples find that a few sessions can help them navigate challenges and strengthen their dynamic.
Remember: the best resource is open, honest communication with your partner. No book, website, or expert knows your relationship better than you do. Use these resources as starting points for your own conversations and discoveries.
Want to suggest a resource? If you've found something particularly helpful that aligns with our relationship-centric, sex-positive approach, please share it on our Feedback page.